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A Blooming Heart
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surely there is a better way to post them here??
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When I started this blog, I had perfect intentions of becoming a freelance writer and finding a way to make money, from home,. writing. Well, after countless hours researching and learning new things about writing, I found a website that gave me a chance, TheUrbanTwist.com , I wrote an article yesterday covering the first Democratic Debate, and it was published on their site today. I am officially a contributor for The Urban Twist. Please click on the link and check out my writing and overview.
One Very Excited “Aspiring FreeLance Writer”
Peace, Love, and writing!
I haven’t blogged lately because nothing has been on my mind enough to write about, until a few days ago when the Bakersfield Police Department killed Jason Alderman.
With all due respect, Jason Alderman was most likely involved in a burglary in progress at a Subway store after it had closed. However, I firmly believe in due process and because of the excessive force often used by local police, it bothers me that this guy was shot on the spot. Jason Alderman should be in jail, not at the morgue.
I have spoken to many local families who have lost loved ones to unnecessary and unlawful police killing. James Moore was beaten to death by many officers as was David Siva. David Turner, Jorge Ramirez and Justin Harger were also gunned down by local police for no good reason. The mentality of police in my town is “Shoot first, ask questions and cover it up later”. The blue line is very thick, no officer goes against the story of another officer, they cover for each other like second nature, it’s a lifestyle. Again, I’m not just spewing out opinions, this is what I have experienced being involved with local activists etc… The stories I could tell wouldn’t even be believed, so to spare my credibility I will withhold those for now.
I heard about the killing of Jason Alderman and I chose to stay quiet on social media until I heard the full story. Well, after reading the news articles and seeing a facebook post from a Subway employee that immediately contradicted the police story it piqued my curiosity. Again, it matters not to me that he was a criminal, he was not armed, he was not threatening anyone’s life, including the police officers. He was burglarizing Subway, after hours with no employees present, he was not robbing anyone at gunpoint.
The police who responded to the incident were in the parking lot and seen broken glass in front of Subway and supposedly, a white BMW backed up to the front door. Upon closer observation they seen a man inside with a mask over his head and he refused to drop his weapon, which was not immediately disclosed what the weapon was. Officer Chad Garrett, (referred to as a Sr. officer although he has only been a cop for 4 years), shot him on the spot and killed him, this is Officer Garrett’s third killing that we know of. The immediate story was that the Subway video cameras were not rolling and no video was available. Then a Subway employee posts on her Facebook page that there was actually video footage and that BPD confiscated it on the spot. Still, BPD claimed not to know of any video.
I went to Subway this morning to contribute to the memorial set up by his family out front and also do some chalking to support the family because this is just my passion, its my journey. When i was there I met Jason Alderman’s sister, she was grieving, it was horrible. She claimed that the police department had the original video and then came back yesterday to confiscate the hard drive of the surveillance equipment. She also said that her brother’s car would not go in reverse because it had mechanical problems. She also told me that she knew for a fact that he had loaned out his BMW car jack to a friend and it wasn’t in his possession
Well, the police department has updated their report today claiming the weapon was his BMW car jack, that does look like a gun in all honesty AND they claim they now have video footage of the incident. However, his sister claims that is not his car jack, so who knows where the police came up with this. In past police killings the Bakersfield Police Department has confiscated video and then claimed it was accidentally deleted and/or was damaged. Therefore, I do not believe we will ever see the real video of the shooting. Jason Alderman was 29 years old and obviously having rough times, he was burglarizing Subway, but, now he is dead.
Both of the officer’s that came across this crime in progress have killed before, senselessly, that part bothers me. The stories that change daily, that bothers me. The fact that I talked to Jason’s sister and her stories are completely different, that bothers me. The police should just be honest, tell the truth and give the family closure and peace. But, instead they lie, confiscate and delete videos and treat the families like trash calling their loved one a criminal. It’s more how they act after they kill that bother’s me the most. I once heard an officer tell the brother of someone he beat to death, “I did this town a favor by taking out your brother”, that is sickness. That bother’s me. Jason Alderman was denied due process and that is not what the United States was founded on. What happened to innocent until proven guilty?
The smallest menial decisions become a whirlwind of emotions for someone like myself. I am self-diagnosed, P.T.S.D. caused by a few different events in my life but, the most obvious and easy to understand is when I experienced Sudden Severe hearing loss. Literally, woke up one morning and could no longer hear, just like that no more sound. Suddenly, from one day to the next, living in a world of silence. I now use a cochlear implant to hear with and will definitely write about that experience sometime soon. However, I just wanted to give someone an insight into the life of someone with PTSD and how stress can affect them.
After a stressful two days where Life has taken it’s toll with an overload of stress, I finally made it to the grocery store this evening. I was with my boyfriend and we borrowed his son’s car. Because its an unfamiliar vehicle and a little older we took a flashlight with us to find things inside the car. Tomorrow morning my boyfriend’s son will be travelling out of town for the weekend. Naturally, in a concerned parent voice, he says to me as were getting out of the car, “Should I leave this flashlight in the car, since he’s going out of town?”
Simple question for most people, easy answer, yes, better safe than sorry leave the flashlight in the car for him in case he doesn’t have one. For me, I felt like it was a life or death decision for ME to make. He was only thinking out loud in a way, was just looking for input, possibly making sure I didn’t need it for something. I suddenly felt a ton of pressure and started thinking out loud saying “Well, I don’t know, does he have another flashlight in here? Do we have one in the house in case the power goes out? If I tell you not to leave it for him and he breaks down it will be my fault he didn’t have a flashlight and something really bad might happen to him if he is broke down, in the dark, trying to change a flat with no flashlight, Oh gosh I don’t know what you should do”
I felt regret about making the wrong decision before I even made it and it was a menial decision, and should have been no pressure, just a simple yes answer, leave it in the car for him to travel but, for me I could not make that decision. I got so flustered from it I do not remember what my boyfriend said to me, or physically walking into the house, I was just overwhelmed, almost in panic attack mode, OVER A FLASHLIGHT.
I can make the big decisions of life when I have to but, the little stuff gets me every time!
ebook, 362 pages.
Read from May 31 to June 08, 2015.
For the last 60 years science has been using reproductions of the same cells for massive amounts of scientific research. They’re called the HeLa cells as they are named after the woman they were taken from, Ms. Henrietta Lacks. The cells were taken without Henrietta’s knowledge so for years, no one knew anything about the woman whose cells changed the face of scientific research and has helped save and heal millions of people as a result of this research. Almost on a sort of calling, author Rebecca Skloot felt strongly that she should find a way to tell Henrietta’s story and know more about the extraordinary person that made history by having her cells become the first ever to be replicated.
Henrietta Lacks came from very humble roots. She was born in Virginia in the summer of 1920…
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Even though I know You are All-Knowing and All-Seeing in power…. I can not help myself but, to wish I could correspond with You verbally. First off, as you already know, Im a strong woman, but, how much stronger do you think I can be? In the passed 4 months I lost my Father, my puppy got sick and died, My boyfriend fought for his life on life-support for 10 days and now Im in another crazy predicament financially that makes no sense at this time. I have faith that You are working this all out in your time and Your way but, please don’t forget my integrity and my sincerity and all the people Iam helping right now. I can’t keep doing all this for them I can only do it for You, so can you please give me a little scenic view into my future so I can have a little more hope that everything will be alright.
A girl in turmoil but, surrounded by a lot of love.